Getting your affairs in order means putting your important documents, accounts, debts and wishes in one place so your family can manage things when you no longer can. It's one of the kindest gifts you can give the people you love, and it sits at the heart of good estate planning. Here in Rochester, I help families through this every week, and the worry I hear most is always the same. "I don't even know where to start." So, let's go through it together.
Most of us spend more time planning a vacation than planning for the day our families will have to manage without us. That's understandable. Thinking about the end of our lives isn't much fun, and there's always something more pressing on the calendar. Still, a little preparation now spares your family a scavenger hunt during one of the hardest weeks of their lives, and the work is more manageable than you'd expect once you break it into a few steps.
Estate Planning Is More than a Will
A will is where most people's minds go first, and it matters, but it's only one piece of the picture. Estate planning accounts for everything you own and makes sure it reaches the people you want to have it. Your beneficiary designations, your insurance, the location of your important documents and the wishes you've never written down all matter just as much. When even one of those pieces is missing, your family is left guessing. So, the goal is a simple one. Gather the documents that spell out your wishes, the accounts and property you own, the debts and bills you leave behind and the names of the people who'll need to be contacted, then keep it all somewhere your family can find it.
Make a List of What You Own, and Check Who's Named on It
Start by writing down what you own. Walk through your home and note the things your family might not realize are valuable, like vehicles, artwork, jewelry and collectibles, then add the accounts that don't have a physical form, such as bank accounts, retirement plans, annuities and life insurance. List your debts as well, since those don't disappear, and jot down the memberships and subscriptions someone will need to cancel. For each item, include the account number and where the paperwork is kept.
While you're working through those accounts, take a few minutes for something people often overlook. Your retirement accounts and life insurance pass directly to whoever you named as beneficiary, no matter what your will says. If you filled out that form years ago and haven't looked since, an outdated choice or even a former spouse could still be listed. Pull your beneficiary designations, review each one and update anything that no longer reflects your wishes. While you're at it, ask your bank about transfer-on-death designations, which let certain accounts pass to your loved ones without going through probate.
Put Your Wishes in Writing, and Tell Someone Where to Find Them
Everyone over 18 should have a will. It spells out who receives what and who settles your estate, and it lets you name a guardian for children or pets. Alongside your will, put a financial power of attorney and a health care proxy in place so someone you choose can step in if you can't speak for yourself. In New York, a health care proxy is the document that names the person who'll make medical decisions on your behalf. Look these documents over every couple of years, and again after any big change, like a marriage, a move, a divorce or a new grandchild.
Then do the one thing that ties it all together, which is to tell someone where everything is. The most careful plan won't help anyone who can't find it, so once your documents are signed, make copies and let your executor and your health care proxy know where the originals are kept. Note where your safe and safe deposit box are, along with the keys, and leave a way for someone to reach your accounts when the time comes.
You don't have to finish all of this in an afternoon. Pick one section, fill in what you know and come back to the rest later. To make that easier, we put together a free organizer you can print and complete at your own pace. It walks you through everything covered here, from your list of contacts and documents to your wishes for the people and pets you're leaving in good hands.
Download our Estate Planning Organizer and keep it somewhere your family can find it.
Common Estate Planning Questions
What Documents Do I Need for Estate Planning in New York?
At a minimum, most people need a will, a health care proxy, a financial power of attorney and often a living will. Your beneficiary designations on retirement accounts and life insurance matter just as much, since that money passes outside of your will. Depending on your situation, a trust may help too.
Do Beneficiary Designations Override a Will?
Yes. The beneficiary you name on a retirement account, annuity or life insurance policy receives that money directly, no matter what your will says. That's why it's worth reviewing those forms every few years and after any major life change.
What Is a Health Care Proxy?
A health care proxy is a legal document that names the person who can make medical decisions for you if you become unable to make them yourself. It's one of the core documents in your estate plan, alongside your will and your power of attorney.
How Often Should I Update My Estate Plan?
Review your documents every couple of years, and after any major life change such as a marriage, a move, a divorce or the birth of a grandchild. Life changes, and your plan should keep up with it.
A Little Preparation Now
Estate planning has a way of feeling heavier than it is. Once it's done, most people tell me they feel lighter, knowing their family won't have to piece things together alone. You can make a strong start on your own with the organizer, and when you want a second set of eyes, a financial advisor can help you see how your accounts, taxes, insurance and beneficiary choices fit together and coordinate with your attorney, so nothing falls through the cracks. At Davie Kaplan, we bring tax and wealth management together to help families plan for what matters most.